


Unexpected Arrival Vol. 2

by Nekromika



Series: Unexpected Arrival [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe, BAMF Kurosaki Ichigo, Crack Treated Seriously, Funny, Hilarious, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-03-28 08:25:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13900140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekromika/pseuds/Nekromika
Summary: The continuation of Unexpected Arrival.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for your Comments, Kudos and Support. :)  
> They made me continue this series and I hope you'll enjoy Vol.2!

Ichigo was currently fast asleep under a cherry blossom tree in Kyorakus garden. Following their fight the Soutaichou had started questioning the Central 46, as a result the Vizard and Ex Shinigami got a formal apology, compensation and the offer of joining the Gotei Thirteen once again. They had accepted the offer, now being the only Special Division in the whole Seireitei. The Soutaichou had extended the invitation to Ichigo who had shrugged and accepted. It was not like they wanted him to really do anything, besides eliminating any threat to the Soul Society.

“Oi! Wake up!” Ichigo heard someone yell. Cracking one of his eyes open he was greeted with Yoruichi glaring down at him.

“It’s too early in the morning…I feel like puking.” Ichigo said, pulling a face and turning back around with a yawn.

“It’s almost noon!” Yoruichi yelled back, her yellow eyes narrowing in on him. “You might have forgotten it but today is a Captains meeting and the Special Division was invited.” She said.

“So?” Ichigo asked, still lying down and closing his eyes once again.

“You have to go!” She yelled at him, dragging him up by the arm and continuing to drag him in the direction of the first division.

Ichigo only looked on slightly amused.

“Ahh yes, you really like being in charge, don’t you?” He suddenly asked her, voice aloof. She stopped and turned around to stare at him.

“What do you mean by that?” She demanded.

Ichigo smirked slightly and leaned forward quickly. He moved him mouth directly next to her ear and purred right into it.

“Ohh…I am quite sure you know, kitty.” He said. Leaning away he quickly passed Yoruichis still gaping form and walked into the direction of the first division humming the hello kitty song, once again completely out of tune.

He finally reached the barracks; the huge double doors were already closed. With a shrug Ichigo lifted his foot and kicked them open with a bang. Everybody inside turned to stare at him wide eyed.

“Whoops, my foot slipped.” Ichigo said, taking his place next to a head shaking Shinji.

“Sorry I’m late, I got lost on the road of life.” He told them, falling into a theatric bow.

Kyoraku snorted loudly, the Soutaicho looked at him in amusement before clearing him voice.

“Yes, we are here today because of a disturbing revelation. Many inhabitants of the Rukongai have gone missing, I ask that all Captains stay on the lookout. For now, Division 11 and 9 are in charge of the investigation.” He declared.

Ichigos eyes narrowed under his fringe. ‘So it begins…’ He thought darkly, getting out another cigarette and smoking it leisurely.

The meeting dragged on for a while, after some time Shinji and Ichigo stared playing Rock, Paper, Scissors, curtsy of Ichigos idea of course. Ukitake was watching them from the opposite side of the room and grinned.

Finally the meeting came to an end. They slowly walked out of the meeting hall. Yoruichi was standing in the middle of the street, arms crossed and foot tapping in an impatient pattern on the floor.

“What the hell did you mean by that?!” She demanded from Ichigo.

Ichigo sighed. Man, nobody could take a joke in this universe apparently.

“ABRACADABRA!” He suddenly yelled at the top of him lungs, making several people and Yoruichi jump.

“Damn, it didn’t work, your still here.” He said, sighing overdramatically.

Veins started popping out of Yoruichis forehead.

“Yo-You idiot!” She yelled, knowing better than to retaliate with force.

Ichigo suddenly leaned forward once again and started smelling Yoruichi. She blushed ten shades of red, many Captains and the Vizard around them were looking at them in amusement. Ichigo continued to sniff Yoruichi.

“Wh-What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She asked, face as red as a tomato.

“You smell like drama and a headache, please get away from me.” Ichigo finally said, pulling away and making a face. With that he walked away, leaving a sputtering Yoruichi in his wake.

Instead of returning to his place for a nap he directly walked into the direction of the twelfth. Reaching the barracks, he walked right in blending in with the people of the division like he was part of them. He quickly reached Mayuris private lab and walked through the door.

“What are you doing here?” A voice to his right asked. He turned around and looked at Nemu, leaning against the wall her hands folded in front of her and a serene look on her face.

“Ohh, I am just passing through.” Ichigo said with a shrug. Nemu blinked at him a few times

“This is the only door leading from and to this place.” She said, in her emotionless voice.

“Whop, the more you know.” Ichigo simply said and continued on his way towards the monitors in the middle of the room.

Nemu blinked again and followed closely behind but didn’t stop him. With a hum Ichigo let himself fall into the Chair in front of the monitors and started tapping away on the keyboard. Other people thought it impossible to maneuver Kurotsuchis ‘computer’, especially the keyboard as it looked like a piano, but luckily Ichigo had figured out how to use it a couple of Universes ago. Nemu looked at him oddly as he hacked away on the keyboard, with a flourish he summoned the files that would undoubtedly incriminate the clown and smiled a little.

“Tut tut.” Ichigo said, turning to Nemu with a smile. “A clown isn’t supposed to make people disappear, he is more of a…comedian I believe.” He told her, danger glinting in his eyes as he printed the incriminating files. They had been password protected and buried deep, but that hadn’t been able to stop Ichigo in the slightest. Still humming he collected the files and walked out of the room. Nemu stood there blinking, she tilted her head a little to the side before taking her stance against the wall once again, humming the same tune he had.

Lighting a cigarette, the files under his arm, Ichigo made his way to the first division barracks.

“Helloo!” He yelled as he kicked open the Soutaichous office door. Kyoraku and Ukitake had been sitting at a table with the old man and turned towards Ichigo with wide eyes as he walked over to them before plopping the file directly on the table between them and letting himself fall gracelessly into a chair. The Soutaichou looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Solved your mysterious people missing case.” Was all Ichigo said as he took a drag from his cigarette.

“What…? But the meeting was half an hour ago…?” Ukitake asked him. Ichigo smiled a little and gestured at the file. All three captains opened it and started looking through the material.

“He did what?!” Ukitake bellowed, looking thoroughly scandalized. The Soutaichou was bowing his head in thought, Kyoraku had tipped his hat back, eyes holding a dangerous glint.

“Yama-jii…What are we going to do about this?” He asked. The Soutaichou bowed his head a little deeper.

“I believe…the maggots nest has missed its most intelligent resident lately…” Was all the old man said as he closed the file. Ukitake turned towards Ichigo.

“How…How does you mind work?” He finally got out, sounding amazed.

“I run on Tabaco, sarcasm and inappropriate thoughts.” Ichigo simply said. Kyoraku snorted and the Soutaichou suppressed a chuckle.

“Gentleman…I believe I know, what is going to happen next.” Ichigo told them, all jest forgotten.

“What do you mean?” Kyoraku asked. Ichigo looked at him and blew out more smoke.

“Do you know the old folklore? It’s passed toward every born Quincy.” Ichigo said. Their eyes widened as he mentioned the Quincy. “The tale of the Sealed King, after 900 years of being sealed, he would regain his pulse; after another 90, he would regain his intellect; and after 9 more years, he would absorb the power of every " _impure_ " Quincy to make their abilities his own.”

Ichigo looked at Genryusai.

“It’s time to dance with him once again, old man. The man who calls himself ‘Yhwach’.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I truly can't express how sorry I am for not updating this Story any sooner. When I started it I had a looot of time, since University started up again I didn't have that privilege. But I'm just making excuses. I am truly sorry and will try to update more regularly. *bows deeply* I hope you can forgive me.  
> Now withour further ado I present to you the next chapter!

„Do you know what you are saying?” Yamamoto asked wide eyed. Ichigo looked at him amusedly and took a drag from his cigarette.

“I am speaking english…so yeah I am pretty sure I know what I am saying.” He said, smirk on his face. Ukitake rolled his eyes goodnaturedly.

“What we actually wanted to know was whether you are aware what you are implying by saying this.” Ukitake said, sighing a little.

“Ohh yes, I am quite aware.” Ichigo said, nodding his head. The Soutaichou sighed.

“I have feared this day, with his return many Soul Reapers will lose their lives. But I wonder…where has he been hiding?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowing in thought.

“Ohh, don’t you know? All the monsters hide in the shadows.” Ichigo said, smiling brightly. They all looked at him confusedly.

“Flash bomb!” Ichigo suddenly yelled and threw something on the floor. The Captains immediately closed their eyes and raised their arms against what ever the hell Ichigo had decided to throw now. A bright light illuminated the whole room, it wasn’t piercing or hurtful, but it seemed to chase away all the Shadows for a few seconds before slowly fading.

“What was that…?” Ukitake asked, eyes wide. Ichigo grinned and pulled out another grenade shaped thing from god knows where, twirling it in his hand.

“This, is a flash bomb, it goes ‘boom’ and makes the evil shadows go away.” He explained in a voice normally used on a small toddler. The three Shinigami tried not to be offended by that.

“Alright…and the Shadows are evil…why exactly?” Kyoraku asked, trying to go with it. Ichigo turned to him.

“Quincy of course!” Ichigo said happily. They all sweatdropped and stared at him.

“Alright…I think he’s gone around the bend now…” Ukitake whispered to Kyoraku leaning towards him slightly.

“I am always going around things, but that’s besides the point. If we use these things and spread them around Seireitei we can stop our darling Quincys from spying on us.” Ichigo said, turning more serious at the end.

“I would recommend leaving Yhwach to me, old man. You had your chance.” Ichigo said, taking another drag from his cigarette and blowing out the smoke with a bored expression. The Soutaichou could only nod before dicussions and qeustions were started.

After Ichigos more than slightly dramatic revelation it had been agreed among them to keep their knowledge to themselves. Only a few choice individuals, mainly the captains of the Gotei thirteen were informed. Urahara was given the special quest to invent something stopping the Quincy from stealing their Bankai and keeping the Wandenreich in the Shadows, so it couldn’t ‘overtake’ the Soul Society.

The meeting in which Ywach was discussed were flooded with light, making it impossible for the Wandenreich to spy on them and be aware of any knowledge they possessed.

The Soutaichous as well as Ukitakes and Kyorakus reaction when Ichigo told them about the depths in which the Wandenreich could eavesdrop and spy on them, had been pricless.

Only topped by their expression when he had told them that they had found a technique to steal their Bankai, but Ichigo was unfortunately unable to provide the necessary information on anything regarding this since he had not been the one to invent anything. Of course, he didn’t tell them the last part loudly, it wouldn’t do to spill all his secrets just yet.

Ichigo was walking around the Seireitei humming a song under his breath. With a sigh he jumped and continued his way walking on one of the walls of the road. He found a comfortable looking rooftop and plopped down on top of it with another sigh.

Without further ado he pulled out a piece of paper and a box of crayons from god knows where. With almost childish enthusiasm he started coloring. A loud blaring noise interrupted him in his concentration.

Because of Ichigos nature of conveniently forgetting any Captains meeting and ‘getting lost’ in the Seireitei during such it was agreed to install something like a signal, so he would know when a Captains meeting was called. Ichigo gave a long ‘why-am-I-even-here-why-am-I-alive-nothing-really-matters’ sigh before taking his picture and crayons and making his way to the first division barracks.

He walked straight through the huge double doors and let himself fall on the floor in an undignified heap. Proudly pulling out his crayons and paper he plopped down on his belly and started coloring his picture while humming. The other Captains soon joined him staring at him incredulously. Ukitake crouched down in front of him and cleared his voice softly.

“Hmm?” Ichigo made not looking up from his picture.

“Ahm, Ichigo-kun…What exactly are you drawing?” Ukitake asked him, voice kind and a smile on his face. Ichigos face did not change in the slightest from it’s usual emotionless façade as he turned around his picture and presented it to them proudly.

There, with mostly red, black and blue colors was a man with dark hair wielding a sword and someone who was definitely the Soutaichou wearing what seemed to be a superman costume. His long beard tucked into superman’s belt and red cape flapping behind him dramatically.

“Hnnnggg.” Could be heard from Kyorakus reaction as he tried his utmost not to break down in laughter, pressing a fist into his stomach and breathing like a woman in labor. The fight was soon lost, and he doubled over laughing helplessly.

The Soutaichou glared at Kyoraku before turning back towards Ichigo and glaring at him too, demanding an explanation with his eyes. Ichigo got up in one fluid movement and walked over towards the Soutaichou, hips swaying. He walked right up to him, invading his personal space he leaned forward and whispered into his ear, loud enough for the assembled Captains to hear.

“Are you going to be my superhero tonight?”

Thought the sentence in itself would be more than just a little bit flirtatious, the fact that it was delivered in the most dry and unfeeling voice possible took any such traits away.

Kyoraku who had managed to get himself under control was soon on the floor again. The Soutaichou silently glared at Ichigo some more before dismissing him with a wave of his hand and making him stand with the other Vizard. Shinji grinned at him and gave him a thumbs-up.

The Soutaichou banged his cane on the floor loudly and soon the chamber was filled with his deep timber.

“As you all know the threat of Yhwach will soon be upon us. Urahara Kisuke.” The Soutaichou addressed said person. Kisuke took a step forward and looked towards the Soutaichou.

“Have you had any success creating something that could stop them from stealing our Bankai?” The Soutaichou asked. Urahara nodded seriously.

“I have come up with a few possible ways to stop them, since I am not sure which technique they will use to accomplish such a feat I must say that I am having a hard time coming up with countering these effects. I will try to invent a few different ways of stopping them just in case.” The Soutaichou nodded seriously.

“We have to think about an appropriate place to fight this battle, fighting in the Seireitei, while preferable since it is our home turf will only lead to great destruction. Will it be possible to set up a fake version of the Seireitei to fool the enemy?” This question was posed again at Urahara. Before he could answer Ichigo spoke up.

“Unlikely.” He simply said, he had pulled out one of his cigarettes and was puffing away at it quite contently.

“Why?” The Soutaichou asked. Ichigo turned towards him and blew out the smoke he had been holding while speaking.

“The Wandenreich literally ‘lives’ within the Shadow of the Soul Society, you can’t just put up a fake town somewhere else, sure you’d have a fake town but the Wandenreich would still invade this place. It would be much more logical to flood the entire Soul Society with light, everything but a small previously picked place, they would be forced to leave from that ‘opening’ so to speak and we’d have the advantage.” The other captains stared at him speechlessly for a few seconds. The Soutaichou seemed to be the first to get his bearing back.

“It will be done.” He declared banging his cane down once again.

The meeting dragged in much in the same manner, Ichigo started zoning out half way through and continued coloring his picture.

At the end of the meeting Ichigo held the picture in front of him proudly, walking towards the end of the room, right to the place the Soutaichou normally occupied Ichigo hefted the picture onto the wall behind him. Stepping back, he stemmed his hands in his hips and nodded proudly. With a spring in his step and an emotionless face he skipped from the room leaving the other captains to stare after him in confusion and dismay.

Ichigo plopped down into the grass beneath, what was now his favorite cherry tree. Also staying here had the benefit of pissing of Byakuya and that was a joy Ichigo just couldn’t pass up on.

He closed his eyes and let himself be dragged into a light slumber, only to be woken up by something warm landing on his chest.

“Wake up, idiot!” A familiar voice demanded loudly. Blinking his eyes open Ichigo came face to face with Yoruichi in her cat form.

“Ohh hello kitty.” Ichigo said, stifling a jaw breaking yawn.

“Stop calling me that.” She hissed at him.

“If you find me offensive, I suggest you stop finding me.” He told her dryly before laying back and closing his eyes again.

“I’m not here because I want to be.” Yoruichi yelled back. “Ukitake and Kyoraku want to see you, why ever the hell is beyond me, you’re a menace.” With that she flicked her tail right into his face and walked away proudly.

“Yet despite the look on my face…you are still talking to me.” Ichigo called after her, but she didn’t rise to his bait unfortunately.

Cracking his neck Ichigo got up and sighed once again.

“I’m getting too old for this crap.” He mumbled, lighting a cigarette he made his way to find Ukitake and Kyoraku.

He felt for their Reiatsu and found them sitting in a meeting room in the forth. Not bothering with the door Ichigo jumped up to the second floor and simply kicked in the window. Unohana, Kyoraku and Ukitake stared at him, all of them covered in dust, debit and glass.

“You wanted to see me?” He asked them, completely ignoring his way of entering.

The blinked as one before Unohana dusted off her shoulders with a dignified sweep and took a sip of her tea.

“I would prefer it if you did not break anything while walking into my division.” Unohana told him, voice taking threatening undertones towards the end, every other person would have been shaking in their boots at being addressed by her in such a way.

Unohana had a way of making even eleventh division members cry and call for their mommy. Ichigo just stood there and scratched his neck.

“Yeah whatever.” He said, plopping down in a chair. Unohana gritted her teeth a little and tried again, giving his a sickly sweet smile.

“Am I understood?” She asked, shadow cast over her eyes.

“Yeah yeah, just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.” He told her, smirking slighty as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

“Really Ichigo-kun, couldn’t you have just used the door?” Ukitake chastised him lightly.

“My neighbor’s diary says I have boundary problems.” Ichigo told him blankly.

Kyoraku bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing, he really didn’t want to give Unohana a reason to go on a row at him, the woman could be downright terrifying if she wanted to.

“Really you…” Unohana mumbled, getting up and muttering under her breath she walked away.

“Ichigo-kun…” Ukitake told him, frown disapproving.

“Aww come on!” Ichigo said. “It’s not like you’re not used to me by now.” He took another drag from his cigarette and blew it right into Kyorakus face.

“Now my lovelies, you wanted to talk to me?” He asked, leaning back in his chair. Ukitake and Kyoraku looked at one another.

“It’s about the upcoming war.” Ukitake told him softly.

“Yes?” Ichigo asked, raising an eyebrow at them. Kyoraku leaned forward, his face clouded in shadows he spoke.

“We think we have a traitor among us.”


	3. Gin & Ichigo Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Little Special for Ichigo and Gin. Not to be taken seriously. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MAIN STORY.

Ichigo kicked open to door leading to Aizens throne room. The other espada were already situated on plateaus of different heights. Taking a drag from his cigarette Ichigo waved at them lazily.

“And who might you be?” Aizen asked, his voice as silky as always. Ichigo completely ignored him and looked around the room as if he didn’t have a care in the world. With a nod of his head Aizen signaled Gin to incept the stranger. Gins fox like grin grew wider as he took a step forward only to land with an incredibly fast Shunpo directly in front of the stranger in the next instance. The orange haired man didn’t seem to be intimidated in the slightest. He took another drag and blew the smoke of his cigarette directly into Gins face.

“You’re prettier up close.” The man said, voice emotionless. Gin blinked, his azure colored eyes opening in surprise. A chuckle interrupted their exchange.

“How interesting.” Aizen said, lazily sitting back in his throne as he overlooked the sight in front of him. Gin took a step back.

“Oi! Who the hell do you think you are?” Grimmjow suddenly bellowed, stalking up to the strange man.

“Me?” The stranger said, pointing a finger at himself incredulously. “Well: good-looking, sexy, irresistible.” He ticked off, using the same hand he had pointed at himself with. A tick mark formed on Grimmjows forehead.

“That’s it! You’re dead!” With a loud roar he pulled out his sword and made to attack the stranger. Said man simply continued to smoke his cigarette and looked decidedly unresponsive to the happenings in front of him. With a roar Grimmjow launched himself at the stranger attacking him viciously.

But never hitting. The stranger sprang, ducked and dodged the sword left and right continuing to smoke all the while. Apparently having had enough he jumped upwards and kicked Grimmjow square in the jaw, breaking off a few pieces of his mask and sending him flying in the process.

Again, a chuckle resounded around the room in answer to the violence and strength they just witnessed. The stranger turned towards Aizen who was sprawled in his seat and looking at him with a smirk.

“What do you want? Do you wish to join us, man without a name? You are aware that it is rude to step into somebody else’s home without so much as an introduction, right?” Aizen spoke, superiority clear in his voice as he watched the strangely clothed, orange haired man.

The stranger shrugged.

“Guess so…” He mumbled, his cigarette was slowly buring out. “Tch.” He made, taking the bud out of his mouth and throwing it on the floor. He took a step forward, squashing the cigarette bud in his process. He bend down, bowing low.

“My name is Ichigo. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He said, behaving very much like a student at a new school, or a businessman at a new workplace.

“…Pleasure. The name is Gin Ichimaru.” Gin answered, bowing back towards him politely.

“Don’t answer him like that!” Nnoitra and Grimmjow yelled at the same time, the later bleeding from his nose and forehead profusely.

“Ahh so loud.” Ichigo said, sticking a finger into his ear and cleaning it without a care. “Are they always like that?” He asked, turning towards Gin.

Gin tutted and nodded. “Yes, unfortunately. Ohh the grieve they cause.” He said, wiping at his eyes with a tissue.

“Such disappointments.” Ichigo agreed, standing next to him and also wiping his eyes. Both of them resembling mothers bemoaning the way their sons turned out.

“Since when are you friends?!” Nnoitra yelled, Grimmjow was busy trying to stop the blood flowing from his wound.

“Calm down, everybody.” Aizens voice cut through the mayhem that had been started in the room. All eyes settled on him.

“Well, Ichigo-san. Do feel at home.” Aizen said, leaning further back into his chair. “Now everybody, scram and do not be rude towards our…guest.” Aizen said, waving his hand in dismissal. His thoughts already on the re-run of his favorite drama. Kensuke was just about to confess his love to Yuriko. With that in mind he got up and move to the monitor room with a skip in his steps.

“Come on, Ichigo-kun.” Gin said, tugging at Ichigos shirt and pulling him along.

“Yees.” Ichigo said, following Gin.

The walked through the halls of Las Noches in silence.

“Well Ichigo-kun…I’ve been meaning to ask. How do you feel about a few pranks?” Gin broke the silence that had stretched between them.

“Pranks?” Ichigo asked, smirk already growing as he turned towards the silver haired man. “Do go on.”

Gin answering smile bode nothing good.

* * *

A few rooms away a shudder ran down Aizens spine. “What is this sense of…doom…I’m getting?” He mumbled to himself. Turning in his chair and looking behind himself in unease before dismissing the Feeling.

* * *

“Ohhh ~ Grimmy!” Gin sung, walking towards the blue haired Espada.

“Haahh?!” Grimmjow answered, tick marks already forming as he turned towards his supposed superior.

“My, my. No need to get aggressive right from the start. Do be…a good kitty.” Gin said, evil smile appearing on his face.

It was the last thing Grimmjow saw before darkness overtook his vision.

“Wake uuup ~” An unfamiliar voice called above him. He blinked him eyes open blearily.

“Good morning, Grimm-kitty.” The voice continued, amusement obvious.

“What did you call me??!” Grimmjow yelled, jumping up in the process. His head was still spinning a little, he frowned when he felt something soft brushing his knees, he also felt lighter than before. He reached up slowly to rub at his head. And stopped. There was something. Something on his head. It was soft and long, circling the whole of his head from ear to ear. With a growing sense of dread, he looked down.

The screams echoing of the walls of the room he was in was like music to his two pranksters.

Grimmjow was wearing a black and white maid outfit with a blue pair of kitty ears on his head, color matching to his hair. He continued pulling at the outfit and the ears, trying to desperately to get rid of them.

“How long until he notices?” Ichigo asked. Him and Gin were sitting on a bench a little away watching the show in front of them. Ichigo was tossing a tube of super glue up and down.

“Hmm, I give him 5 more minutes.” Gin said, grinning happily as he watched the Espada struggle.

“Off to the next victim?” Ichigo said, turning towards Gin, watching Grimmjow struggle and scream was getting tedious after a while.

“Ohh definitely.” Gin answered.

 

No need to say that Las Noches spent a few weeks in mayhem and screams.

* * *

~ Ichigo-sensei, teach uuuss! ~ 

Ichigo appears on screen, wearing glasses and a dress shirt with a tie. He points towards you, dear reader with a piece of chalk in his hand.

“Hello, class! Please remember to not use super glue to put cat ears on people. Also flooding an entire laboratory, putting scratching powder into pillows, putting a fart pillow on to Aizens throne, using hollow holes for mini golfing, throwing a red sock into the laundry and turning every Arrancas Outfit pink, braiding and putting bows into Barragans beard and hair putting a real Shark into Harribels room, locking Nel and Nnoitra into the same room, Posting Pictures of Grimmjow in a Maid Outfit wearing cat ears all over Las Noches, replacing every object in Aizens room with Marbels which look like the Hogyoku and forcing Ulquiorra to sit through a comedy show are not okay! Only do those when you know you can get away with it. (Like me, lol) No questions? Good. Class dismissed! And you over there, yeah you! Go stand in the hallway! Don't you dare question me!"

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aand the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it. Feel free to leave a Comment and Kudos on your way out :D

_Previously:_

_“_ _It’s about the upcoming war.” Ukitake told him softly._

_“Yes?” Ichigo asked, raising an eyebrow at them. Kyoraku leaned forward, his face clouded in shadows he spoke._

_“We think we have a traitor among us.”_

* * *

 

„Wrong!“ Ichigo yelled, making a loud buzzing noise at the end.

Ukitake and Kyoraku almost fell out of their chairs at his sudden admission.

“Wrong…you say? How would you know? Shouldn’t you at least listen to us until the end?” Ukitake asked, hair sticking up at odd places.

“Nah, no need. I already know you’re wrong so why should I waste both of our time. I already told you that the Quincy are everywhere. Literally. They could be listening in right now for all we know. A traitor wouldn’t help them in the least. So calm your tits alright?” He asked, leaning back in his chair and balancing while staring into space.

“I…see.” Kyoraku said, with a sigh he scratched himself beneath his hat and looked at Ichigo. “You got it all figured out, don’t you? I wonder how it is…that you know all these things.”

“I wonder how! I wonder why!” Ichigo begand singing, his voice as grating and off key as always as he screamed the lyrics to ‘Lemon tree’ and skipped away, leaving behind a pair fo partially deaf captains in his wake.

“I hope those Quincy at least heard that too if they were listening in right now…” Ukitake said, scratching the inside of his ear as he pulled a face.

“Haahh?” Kyoraku asked, ears still suffed with part of a napkin and his fingers. “Did you say something?”

Ukitake shook his head and groaned. He really hoped this ‘war’ would be over soon.

 

Meanwhile Ichigo was skipping though Seireitei, the song had died on his lips the second he had been out of earshot of Ukitake and Kyoraku, starting to sing was always the best way of escaping a uncomfortable question. There was no need for them to know who he truly was or where he came from. He was here to protect them. Always protect them…No matter how tired he grew, how much he wanted to…die already. Maybe this time. Maybe in this reality he’d finally be granted some peace and quiet. Constantly fighting, constantly moving. Always knowing that he had a duty to fulfill. Defeat Aizen, defeat Yhwach. Move on. Move to the next dimension, or reality or ‘outcome’ and do it all over again. Some things might change, some people turned traitor that he hadn’t expected to, other his friends and lovers.

He still remembered the first time he switched realities. The despair he felt. The hope at maybe…just maybe being able to end everything if he did it all again. The sense of doom and dread when instead of it finally ending, he found himself in yet another place. That first time…he had gone to Kisuke in that dimension. Hoping against hope that the brilliant scientist might be able to help him, to send him back where he came from. He should have known that it was impossible when Kisuke hadn’t been able to come up with a solution. He had tried again and again. With every supposed brilliant person, he had ever known of. Kisuke Urahara, Kurotsuchi Mayuri, Szayelaporro Gantz. None had been able to help him. None had been able to stop it.

So instead of suffering, suffering the repeat of letting people to far in, of falling in love, of making bonds…Now he just couldn’t be bothered, those that wanted to be near him would be, even when his personality was all over the place and his sanity had left him many, many dimensions ago. There was only so much one man could take. Only so much suffering and grief one could suffer before breaking down.

“Honesty might be the best policy, but insanity is the best defense.” He mumbled.

“You.” A voice to his right said. He turned, surprised despite himself that he hadn’t sensed the person standing this close to him before. His surprise only grew when he saw Soifon of all people glaring at him.

“Hello there, kitty in training. How can I help you?” He asked, bowing low in an overly flamboyant way and looking at her, silly grin stretching as he stood back up and took in her annoyed expression.

“You could always go home. Nuisance.” She said, contempt obvious as she gave him another venomous look.

“Ahh such lovely eyes, you’d be way prettier if you weren’t always looking like you were searching for the best way to slit my throat while nobody is watching.” He said.

“Heh. Didn’t know my thoughts were that obvious.” She snapped back.

“Oya! Would you look at that, the kitty in training has claws. Raawwrr.” He said, voice deadpan and grin having vanished.

She only shot him another glare before walking away.

A small smile stole its way onto Ichigos face, softer than the others before. He still remembered…years ago. How he had been with Soifon. She was fierce and strong, cute and gentle. He had loved her. It had hurt even more that he had had to kill her in the following dimension. A cruel joke. That she of all people would turn out to be one of his enemies. That it had to be her blood that coated his blade, her small body growing colder in his arms as he cried his heart out onto her cold shoulder.

He turned away, another melody on his lips, this time not sounding as off key and terrible as before. He pulled out a cigarette lighting it with a few snaps of his lighter. Taking a deep drag he blew out the smoke.

“Ichigo!”He heard a voice, with raised eyebrows he turned towards it.

“Hello there!” Rose yelled, coming up towards him. He was being flaked by the rest of the Vizard.

“General Kenobi.” Ichigo gave back automatically, the Star Wars reference just tumbling out of his mouth. Love almost bent over with his chuckles.

“You know you should really stop smoking.” Mashiro said, reaching up towards his cigarette. He leaned out of the way.

“Why is it that everything you love it either unhealthy, addictive or has several restraining orders against you?” He complained, frowning behind his fringe and pouting.

“No, I think that’s just you.” Kensei said, sweat dropping as he looked at the orange haired man.

“Anyways what are you guys doing here?” Ichigo asked.

“Ohh well since we are about to fight in another war…we decided that coming to the Seireitei is the best option.” Love answered.

“Ahh I see.” Ichigo mumbled, taking another drag. “Well Kurotsuchi and Kisuke are probably already busy setting up our stage for the fight. This place should he flooded in light soon. When the time comes the Quincy won’t know what hit them.” At the end of his sentence his grin grew sharper.

“Good to know.” Shinji said, grinning lopsidedly as he took in the murderous aura surrounding Ichigo.

“You seem to be quite pissed at them. Any reason for that?” He added.

Ichigo twitched. He had though years of killing the bastard would help but he was still pissed at Yhwach. It didn’t help that it had taken Ichigo very long in the als dimension to kill him. By the time he had finally crossed swords with Yhwach all the people he had sworn to protect were dead or on the brink of it. Apparently, he was still pissed about that. And also, apparently Shinji was just at good at picking up on his mood as always.

“It’s his fault.” Ichigo hissed, biting down on his cigarette and balling his fists. “Everything is his fault, if it weren’t for him-“ He stopped himself, letting his cigarette drop to the floor and stepping on it as he turned away.

“He’s mine to kill.” Were his only words as he turned away and way gone in a burst of Shunpo in the next.

* * *

“It is time.” Yhwach called, clad in a black coat as he stared down at his army of Quincy. “Their defenses will not be enough to keep us out. Now, let us go and take what was meant to be ours from the beginning.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :)


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